Posting this message from Carson yesterday to go with my blog entry.

The power of staying positive and focusing love on others

Years ago while living on Vandenberg AFB in California, we met this wonderful family in our ward - the Tuellers'. This family inspired others to do their best. They were natural leaders, always loving and supportive. We were definitely inspired by them and sometimes even envied them because they were so talented, yet so humble and faithful,which is so not fair! (In our family we've joked many times that the Tuellers' were at the head of the line in the premortal world when God was handing out talents. They got second helpings before we Nelson slackers even found our way to the back of the line. Of course, by the time we got to the front of the line, we got the talent leftovers! Anybody up for some lame jokes?  I got 'em!) Anyway, the Tuellers' are a pretty amazing family athletically, musically, and in communicating, and in...well everything. Luckily for us, the Nelson kids and Tueller kids spent a lot of time together, starting from the moment we moved in. Ann was Madeline's very best friend, Dallas was Tanner's best friend, Carson babysat our kids a lot, and Braun, the Tueller's oldest son, taught our kids' piano lessons. Camille and I spent many hours talking and enjoying each other's company and sometimes our families would get together for dinner or something. In short, we became very well acquainted and enjoyed our extended network of friends on base together.

Then we moved. Let me tell you, that is BY FAR  the hardest thing for our family to deal with in this  military life; saying goodbye to the wonderful friends we make along the way.  Because Steve Tueller was not in the same career field as Jared, we didn't think we'd ever run into each other again. It was terribly sad to say goodbye, knowing it might be for good.

So, imagine our delight, dear blog readers, when we found out that the Tuellers were moving to our neck of the woods again in 2009!  While we weren't able to be in the same ward boundaries, we were in the same stake and didn't live too far from each other.  It was an awesome reunion!  Our son, Tanner, and their son, Dallas, ended up in same high school and spent a lot of time together, rekindling their friendship. It was so neat to see how much all the Tueller kids had grown and yet they were the same people, just more mature. They were all even more tall and beautiful - like a bunch of  models, truth be told.  In fact, that is another joke we sometimes say to each other with a wink; we think they double dipped in the looks department too!

So, that is my big introduction to what I want to talk about.   You see, it's actually Carson, a Tueller child without a peer in our family, but who somehow still inspired the best in my kids, who has always stood out to me among the Tueller children. I love them all, but Carson is truly unique. I would like to focus on him for the rest of this story.

You see, for us, VAFB was full of friends and fun. Everyone in the Nelson and Tueller families seemed to find a friend with whom they truly connected, amongst ourselves and in our wonderful neighborhood. In fact, Tanner and Dallas had a gang of boys whom they regularly hung out with.  Madeline and Ann had a couple of other girls they hung out with regularly.  Even their youngest son, played well with my Rebecca and several other preschool kids in the neighborhood and their oldest son, Braun, was in high school and had all kinds of friends.  But Carson was going through a tough time at VAFB. He was in dreaded middle school and didn't have many friends to hang out with who were his own age in the ward or neighborhood.  Sadly, he was teased mercilessly in middle school because he played the flute, was tall and gangly,  like a gazelle, and was just starting to understand his sexuality; though he was very masculine, in some ways he seemed effeminate too.  The other kids were mean about it, and Carson didn't know what he was doing that was so "wrong".  He was just being himself. Well, the striking thing about this, is that I had no idea that Carson was going though such a trial because he's the kind of guy who focuses so much on others that he doesn't seem to be human sometimes.  He smiles ALL the time.  Literally.  I learned of his struggles much later, but looking back, I can see it now.  I see the turmoil was there and he just tried to bury it because it hurt and because he truly loves to stay positive.

Well, anyway, when we saw that Carson had grewn up into this super tall stud muffin with that same amazing Carson smile, we were not surprised. He was the same Carson, only more mature and very handsome. Shortly after moving to NV, Carson left on his mission where he served the Lord valiantly in Chile.  Of course there were tough times for him there, a horrible earthquake, just to name one. While there serving the Lord, he continued to plead with the Lord to take away this seeming millstone hung around his neck, his now identified homosexuality.  But it didn't happen.  Within a year of arriving home from his mission, Carson decided to just accept it as the Lord's will; he knew that he had to embrace his sexuality.  Last year he took the time to write me personally and many of his other friends, to tell us about his decision to just come out with his homosexuality. I was not surprised that Carson was gay. I've not been surprised either by how well he has embraced this challenge. A diligent communicator of what it is like to be homosexual and also part of a religion that seems to frown on it, Carson has tried to bridge the gap between religious ideology and homosexual identity in our LDS community. He's been a positive role model to every gay or straight person he's met. Very open about his uniqueness now, Carson seems more at peace with himself and with this special mission he's been given.  He continues to be guided by the spirit and lifts and inspires everyone around him. To be sure, he's one of the most loved people I have ever met.

Unfortunately, as some may have noticed on my FB page, Carson suffered from a terrible accident on the 30th of December.  His family was at a trampoline activity when Carson did one of his trademark triple flips; yes, you heard it, he's amazing at gymnastics too.  Anyway, he somehow landed it incorrectly and shattered his c7 vertebrae. He has been paralyzed ever since and in the hospital, going through multiple surgeries to stabilize him. Funny enough, I'm not the only one truly touched by Carson's ability to handle this trial he's been given thus far. Carson has been absolutely remarkable.  He was comforting his father from the moment he realized he was paralyzed and his Dad came rushing over to help. He's been smiling and chatting with his nurses, taking time to ask them about their lives despite his pain and discomfort. Recently, a nurse wrote on Carson's blog that she has witnessed and nursed many people with injuries like Carson's, but has never met such a uniquely positive individual and that she will never forget him.  As you can see, Carson trusts in the Lord and knows he can do whatever the Lord requires of him.  Be a happy gay mormon?  No problem.  Be an inspirational paraplegic?  Got that.  Carson has shown me that if we stay positive and focus our love on others, we can be the person the Lord has seen inside us all along, more importantly, we can help others reach higher ground.

To end this long epistle, let me just say we fasted and prayed for Carson Tueller today. I don't say that to praise ourselves or something. That's just ridiculous.  I say that because we fasted a full 26 hours because Carson inspired it in us. We've never done it before and we weren't even that hungry!  I felt the spirit testify in me that if I fast with a real purpose the Lord sees the sacrifice and then helps me in my effort.  Wow!  I'm 45 years old and have fasted once per month (rather abysmally though) half my life.  I just received a powerful witness to how fasting can draw me closer to God. Anyway, we hope Carson will reap the benefits of the faith and prayers today of the many people across the country fasting for him and his family today. If you are a prayer please pray for Carson Tueller tonight before going to bed. Pray that he will pass his swallow test tomorrow. The feeding tube is really bothering him and that's really saying something because Carson isn't a complainer.

The one thing that is helping Carson the most right now is hearing from all kinds of people, those he knows and especially those whom he's never even met, these are people who are reaching out to him because they are inspired by his character. If you'd like to get to know who Carson is, please visit a blog created recently to help disseminate information about how he's doing at:

http://prayforcarsontueller.blogspot.com/

Don't worry, I have not divulged any information here that Carson would feel uncomfortable with.  He is quite comfortable with sharing his life with others.

Our God gives us challenges to help us learn to become like Him, but also to inspire others to become like Him. Carson magnifies this calling he's been given.

Best wishes for 2014 to all our friends and family-
Jeanette